Invitation Etiquette
A guide to wedding stationery including;
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How many to order
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Timing
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Guests' names
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How to address envelopes
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Invitation and Wishing Well wording
Quantity - how many invitations to order?
For an event like a bridal or baby shower then it is almost 1 invitation per person being that generally only women are invited.
However for a wedding, many invites are for couples or families therefore a reduced number is required. Until you have fully completed your guest list it is impossible to know how many you need but as a very general rule of thumb it will be approx 60% of the number of guests'.
It is always recommended to order 10% more than the number you need. This is for several reasons, firstly it is likely that you will want to keep a couple for yourselves, there are always last minute invitees - often friends of parents and unfortunately sometimes one or two go missing in the post etc The cost to reprint 5 or 10 is much higher than it will be to have these printed initially as printer set-up costs are fixed whether producing 10 or 100 so it will save you lots of money in the long run to order 10% extra.
Timing - when to organise and when to send out
Wedding stationery requires a lot of planning and time must be allowed for proofing, printing and assembling therefore placing a booking 6-9 months before your big day is ideal.
Traditionally, wedding invitations go out six to eight weeks before the wedding allowing guests plenty of time to clear their schedules and make any necessary travel arrangements. If it's a destination wedding, aim to send them out earlier and consider posting save the dates up to 1 year in advance.
RSVP for weddings should be 3-4 weeks before to allow time to follow up guests that haven't replied, arrange place cards and seating.
Other events such as birthdays, bridal and baby showers can be ordered 2-3 months before the event. Ideally they should be posted 4 weeks prior to the event with the RSVP set 1-2 weeks before.
Guest names
Over the past few decades, etiquette for addressing and assembling invitations has relaxed but there are still some requirements. For example, your guests’ names should be written in full on the outer envelope and you should avoid nicknames or initials.
Below are examples of how outer envelopes should be addressed.
Married couples:
"Mr and Mrs David Smith"
Married couples with children invited: It should be addressed with no reference to the children on the outer envelope - "Mr and Mrs David Smith" but on any inside elements it should firstly be addressed to the parents followed by the children in order of eldest to youngest; "Mr and Mrs Smith, Peter, Rebecca and Eva Smith"
For more formal events, children should be called Master (not Mr) and Miss.
To a couple with different surnames: Traditionally if unmarried, you should always address the female first.
If the couple are married but the wife has chosen to keep her surname "Ms." should be used.
For an unmarried couple that are living together, names should appear on separate lines.
What details need to be included on invitations?
Wedding invitations should include;
Full Names: Of the couple getting married and the hosts e.g. parents
Date
Time: Of ceremony and reception
Location: Of ceremony and reception
RSVP: Should be a separate card to make it easier for guests to reply
Adding "No children" is considered untasteful as it is implied by the names on the envelope and RSVP card.
Birthday's, Christenings, Baby and Bridal showers invitations should include;
Name: Who the event is for and what are they celebrating
Date
Time
Location: Include a map or instructions if venue is difficult to find
RSVP: Include an RSVP date to ensure that guests know they need to advise attendance
Contact: Add a contact name and number so guests can call with any questions
Wording Options
Wedding invitations generally indicate who is hosting the event but it can be difficult to find the right words to represent you as a couple and to show respect for everyone involved. Browse our sample wedding wording selection below for the more typical scenarios.
BRIDE AND GROOM HOSTING
BRIDE'S PARENTS' HOSTING
GROOMS PARENTS' HOSTING
DIVORCED PARENTS
DECEASED PARENTS
WISHING WELL
BRIDE AND GROOM HOSTING 2
Because you have shared in our lives
by your friendship and love, we
(brides name) and (grooms name)
together with our parents
invite you to share
the beginning of our new life together when we exchange marriage vows
on (date) (year)
at (time)
(location)
(address)
BRIDE AND GROOM HOSTING 3
(brides name)
and
(grooms name)
request the pleasure of your company
at the celebration of their union
(date) (year)
at (time)
(location)
(address)
Reception to Follow
BRIDE AND GROOM HOSTING 4
Together with their parents
(brides name)
and
(grooms name)
request the honour of your presence
at their marriage on
(date) (year)
at (time)
(location)
(address)
BRIDE AND GROOM HOSTING 1
Together with their parents
(brides name)
and
(grooms name)
request the honour of your presence
at their marriage
(date) (year)
at (time)
(location)
(address)
BRIDE'S PARENTS HOSTING 1
Mr and Mrs (brides parents)
request with pleasure the company of
(line or guests name)
at the marriage of their daughter
(brides name) with (grooms name)
at (ceremony)
(ceremony address)
on (date)
at (time)
and afterwards at
(reception)
(reception address)
at (time)
DIVORCED PARENTS 1
Mr (father of brides full name) and Ms (mother of brides full name)
and
Mr (father of grooms full name) and Ms (mother of grooms full name)
request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children
(bride) and (groom)
(date)
at (time)
and afterwards at
(reception)
(reception address)
at (time)
BRIDE'S PARENTS HOSTING 2
With joyful hearts,
we ask you to be present
at the ceremony uniting
(brides name) and (grooms name)
on (date)
at (time)
and afterwards at
(reception)
(reception address)
at (time)
GROOMS PARENT'S HOSTING 1
Mr and Mrs (groom's parents names)
Request the Pleasure of Your Company
at the Marriage of
(brides name)
to Their Son
(grooms name)
(date)
at (time)
and afterwards at
(reception)
(reception address)
at (time)
DIVORCED PARENTS 3
Ms (mother of the bride)
and
Mr (father of the bride)
request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter
(brides name)
to
(grooms name)
son of Mr and Mrs (grooms parents)
at (time)
and afterwards at
(reception)
(reception address)
at (time)
GROOMS PARENT'S HOSTING 2
Mr and Mrs (grooms parents names)
invite you to share in the joy of the marriage uniting their son
(grooms name)
to
(brides name)
(date)
at (time)
and afterwards at
(reception)
(reception address)
at (time)
DIVORCED PARENTS 2
With joyful hearts,
Mr and Mrs (brides father and stepmother)
invite you to the marriage ceremony uniting his daughter
(bride)
to
(father)
at (time)
and afterwards at
(reception)
(reception address)
at (time)
DECEASED PARENTS 1
With joyful hearts,
Mr and Mrs (brides parents name)
invite you to share
in a celebration of love uniting their daughter
(brides names)
to
(grooms name)
son of Mr (father of the groom) and the late Mrs (mother of the groom)
(date)
(time)
(location)
(address)
DECEASED PARENTS 2
Mr (father of the bride) and with loving memory of (mother of the bride)
requests the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
(brides names)
to
(grooms name)
(date)
(time)
(location)
(address)
WISHING WELL 1
More than just kisses so far we've shared
Our home has been made with love & care
Most things we need we’ve already got
Like a toaster and kettle, pans and pots
A wishing well we thought would be great
(but only if you wish to participate)
A gift of money is placed in the well
Then make a wish … but do not tell
Once we’ve replaced the old with the new
We can look back and say it was thanks to you!
And in return for your kindness we’re sure
that one day soon you'll get what you wished for!
WISHING WELL 3
Soon you will hear
our wedding bell,
As friends and family
wish us well.
Our household thoughts
are not brand new,
We have twice the things
we need for two.
Since we have our share
of dishes & bedding,
We're having instead
a wishing well wedding.
But more important
we ask of you,
your prayers of love
and blessings too!
WISHING WELL 2
Many of our guests have enquired
For a gift idea to be inspired
Like many young couples today
We have most things anyway
If you would like to give, it is our request
For something for our treasure chest
A gift of money you can afford
Is just what we need you can be assured
Without the help of this little pun
Our honeymoon would not be much fun
WISHING WELL 4
This wishing well is here today,
for family and friends.
Take an envelope, make a wish
and please drop it in.
As it falls into the well
your wish for the couple will come true.
A token for the couple, to help them begin,
will be welcomed too.
Please take the time to make a wish,
before the day is through.
DIVORCED PARENTS 4
Mr and Mrs (brides parents name)
and
Mr and Mrs (grooms fathers name and grooms mothers name)
invite you to witness the union of their families as
(bride)
and
(groom)
exchange wedding vows
on (date)
(year)
(time)
(location)
WISHING WELL 5
Now we are to be
Mr & Mrs
We don't need a wedding list
full of dishes
We have 2 kettles, 2 toasters,
2 microwaves
We require a house
for which we have to save.
If you would like
to give us a gift,
Money or vouchers
would give us a lift.
We like to think of it as our
'Wishing Well'
Which will be filled with your love,
we can tell.
WISHING WELL 6
They have their dishes & towels for two
They have pots and pans & oven mitts too
So what do you get for the Bride & Groom
Whose house is set up in every room?
Their house needs repairs & upgrades too
But you cannot register for carpet & glue.
A well that holds wishes is the way to go
So let’s make it easy for all that know.
An envelope will be provided for those
who have room,
To give a monetary wish to the
Bride & Groom
A wishing well will be on display
at the reception hall
To attach your wishes, for the couple,
with love from all
WISHING WELL 7
If you were thinking of giving a gift,
to help us on our way.
A gift of cash towards our house,
would really make our day.
However, if you prefer to purchase a gift,
feel free to surprise us in your own way
WISHING WELL 8
The tradition of the wishing well
used on the wedding day,
is here both for your money gifts
and for what you would like to say.
So please drop in a token of love
for this special Groom & Bride,
as they start their life united by God
to live forever side by side.